Monday, Tuesday

Monday August 13, 2012;
Had a great day.. Cadence was moving around like crazy.. I woke up and my belly looks silly Cadence was all balled up to one side.. I remember thanking God for her and telling Cadence how much I loved her.. Monday night we went for a short walk, came home and got into bed.. I remember telling Kale she hadn't moved in about an hour or so and just as I finished my sentence she punched me to reassure me that she was just taking a nap! Laying there in bed with my shirt up watching my belly, I told Kale hurry look!! Cadence has the hiccups, and shes wiggling around.. We were laughing because with every hiccup my entire belly would shake.. I told Kale, can you believe that she could be here any day now at anytime?! He just smiled and said I know babe.. I told him that Cadence would lay between us and and keep us awake all night.. I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was look at her face and watch her sleep, she was already my world and I didn't want to miss anything..

Tuesday August 14, 2012;
Woke up with a pit in my stomach.. I had a bad feeling, and Cadence wasn't bouncing around like usual.. I mentioned it to Kale and he said well she's tired too babe, you have to let her sleep.. He said just have some breakfast and wait a while and then see.. Shortly after that he left to work.. I sat on the couch watching TV with Daisy and a couple hours went by with nothing . I ate some sweet stuff even drank a soda.. Still nothin.. I thought well she loves a nice shower so I tried that.. I remember standing in the shower holding my stomach praying.. "Lord please make Cadence move, Lord please let her kick me so I know she's ok, she's really worrying me.. Lord she has to be OK she has to be..." Shortly after my parents called and I told them what was going on and they came over.. My dad was telling me everything would ok that everything was fine and not to worry.. In the mean time I had called Kale and told him he needed to come home and we needed to go to the hospital.. Not the call I wanted to make saying "come home something is wrong," instead of "KALE IT'S TIME COME HOME HURRY!!! SHE'S ON HER WAY." Trying to calm down I did my hair, and put some make-up on.. My mom was in the bathroom with me while I sat there just staring at the mirror because I knew something was wrong.. My mom grabbed my stomach and prayed and just talked to Cadence.. I just bawled... Kale came home, I called my Doctor, and he said just go straight to L&D and he would check everything out and probably just induce me that day.. I hurried to the hospital, I ate as much lunch as I could before I got there. My usual nurse Annette was there and she was as sweet as always assuring me everything was OK . She took me back and started the monitor.. When she couldn't find Cadence's heart beat right away I knew.. I knew that was it.. She usually found it right away.. So the nurse left the room to another monitor and still nothing.. She called the Dr. and he rushed over to do an Ultra sound.. He started it, I wouldn't look at anyone but Kale.. All the sudden he stopped and touched my leg and I looked him and with his eyes filled with tears he said, "Cynthia, I'm so sorry but she doesn't have a heart beat, she's gone." Instantly I started to scream.. I scrame at the top of my lungs.. The doctor walked out crying and I had to have my nurse call my parents that was a call I just couldn't make.. I just kept asking Kale why? how come? we were so close.. Kale had to call his parents and my nurse stayed with me.. I kept telling her this couldn't happen, how did this happen, when she was fine, and healthy the day before.. She just kept hugging me telling me how sorry she was..

--Thats all for now.. I'll post again soon! This one was especially hard for me so I have to stop there..
May God Bless all of you!