And they say the Holidays are the hardest?

I don't really believe that the Holidays are the hardest.. I mean its not any harder then other days with out you.. I mean of course its hare we are supposed to be thrilled and buying gifts for a our four month old.. and watching her smile and laugh.. This is her first Christmas..

Of course Christmas was hard for us, but I refused to be sad.. Cadence is amazing, and she has given me the greatest gift in the world.. That's being her Mommy..

I think the reason people say holidays are the hardest is because your supposed to be with family, and your supposed to have a good time.. But I feel like everyday is a struggle, I miss Cadence everyday.. I shouldn't be sad just because it's Christmas.. The hard part is imagining what she would be doing today, what would she look like today.. But that doesn't just come into my mind on the holidays I think about that everyday..

Cadence isn't sad, she doesn't feel pain, and I know she wants Kale and me to be happy! So I refuse to not be happy she is with me everyday, "This is the Day that the Lord has made, and I will Rejoice in It"

We Love you Cadence and I know  you are having a blast in Heaven! Keep Shinning down on us!


--I hope all of you had a safe and blessed holiday! <3

Today..A Good Day..

I was really not wanting to celebrate Christmas.. The thought of celebrating a holiday that I should have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl was just heart breaking.. I hated everything about this time of year and I just wanted to skip ahead a few months and say hello to March.. Well we all know thats not gonna happen..

It wasn't until I seen something on a facebook page that changed my mind.. It said "Don't Be Sad, I'm Spending Christmas With Jesus!" and I could imagine Cadence telling me that.. Instantly my heart changed and I got a great Idea! My Husbands family owns the Cemetery where Cadence is so we can do what we'd like and take as much stuff for her as we want!

So I decided to take a Christmas Tree there and set it up with decorations, and lights.. and Celebrate Christmas with my DAUGHTER that way! She has the most adorable tree.. and I was so happy that my family got to be there with us! It meant so much to Kale and me.. Cadence is going to have the best Christmas ever and she has an amazing gift that not even I could have given her, SHE'S SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS! Cadence has taught me so much in just four months she has changed me! She has made me a better, stronger, more loving, and FAITHFUL person, and for that she has given me the most beautiful gift a mother could ask for!

A few pictures from our day!! Enjoy!

The Holidays..

Can't I just skip the whole month of December? More like wake me up when March gets here.. I'm not ready for Christmas.. I don't want to decorate, I don't want to do any of it.. My daughter should be growin fast and be the center of attention with the family, but she wont be here.. She will of course be my center of attention.. But no one will get to kiss her chubby cheeks and say how adorable she is and that's what kills me..

Then I have to stop.. Stop and think about Cadence.. She doesn't want me to be sad, she doesn't want me to  skip the holidays.. As hard as this is going to be its not going to be harder then any other day with out her.. what makes it hard is the fact she isn't physically here, but she is in my heart.. I seen something the other day and it said " DON'T BE SAD I'M SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS" and that couldn't have made me any happier! She is with Jesus and that's a Christmas I could have never given her myself..

Kale and I decided that we will take her, her very own Christmas tree and decorate it for her.. And I know she will LOVE it!!

I find myself thinking about that song "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" By: Justin Moore.. If I could just drive to see her my heart wouldn't be so crushed.. If I could just hold her one more time for five minutes longer, so I could tell her how much she means too me.. I hope she knows that.. I pray that the Lord tells her how much she changed my life.. How much her mommy and her daddy love her.. I can only pray she knows these things.. I love you so much my sweet perfect baby girl!

Comments that I hate...

1.) One comment I heard to another girl that had a baby around the same time I had Cadence, I over heard the conversation these two girls were having and one said to the other "Wow you look so good, you cant even tell you just had a baby." It was like I had a knife in my stomach, I wanted someone to tell me that stuff, not look at me in the corner of their eye and say oh shes the one that lost her baby? Or I'm so sorry for your loss.. I wanted to scream.. I don't know why that hurt me so bad..

2.) I hate hearing people complain about being pregnant.. You don't know what an amazing gift you have, so quit complaining.. I can honestly say I never complained not even when I was throwing up all day, or when I had no energy, or when I couldn't sleep.. I knew that my body had an amazing responsibility and I loved every minute of it!

I wanted so badly to be telling people how easy labor was, and that getting induced wasn't as bad as I heard it was.. I wanted to tell people all about my Daughter... But who would want to listen? My heart was falling apart more and more every day..

I hate it when people ask "When are you going to have another?" I have no answer to that question, so don't ask me.. The Lord will decided that.. My Daughter is all I need right now, I have the perfect family with her and Kale..

Or how about "your young" and "it just wasn't meant to be." Every time I  hear that I just would like to punch that person in the face..

March for Babies Walk

Wow, March of Dimes foundation is amazing! I love everything about this foundation, helping mother carry healthy babies full term.. When I heard about this the walk I told all my friends and family about it right away!  I was so ready to do this, to make a difference, somewhere in someone's life.. I was actually excited about doing something, and we would be doing the walk in Memory of my Beautiful Daughter Cadence! We signed up and two months before the walk and I set my fundraising goal at $1,500 because Cadence was born on the 15th.. We fund raised and got the word out there about March of Dimes.. The walk was a huge success, Team Cadence Dalton had the biggest team with 35 walkers in all! Very Exciting to see everyone in their Pink Shirts!

We raised a grand total of $5,446! Wow, I was shocked! I knew we exceeded our goal but that was just amazing! I would like to thank all of the people that Donated to us! You are all making a difference! We were all so happy that day and I know it was because My Daughter's Halo was shinning bright that day and she was smiling down on us!

This year’s top teams are:
Fry’s Food Stores #672 – Maricopa	$5,729
Kmart 9101 – Casa Grande	$5,537
Cadence Dalton	$5,446
Florence Hospital @ Anthem	$5,296
Fry’s Food Stores #48 – Casa Grande	$4,836
Fry’s Food Stores #669 – Casa Grande	$3,573
Casa Grande Regional Medical Center	$3,545
Wal-Mart DC #7013	$1,000
IzzyBizzy	$797
Scorpions for Babies	$738

Present time...

So we've come this far.. And the only way I have made it here today is with my Faith in God knowing that under all of this there is something amazing waiting for us.. I have some memories that I will hold on to forever..

My almost 3 year old cousin who is absolutely adorable talks to Cadence.. When I was still pregnant he lifted up my shirt and tried feeding Cadence a gummy bear through my belly button quickly stopped and said no thats nasty you eat it lol... Well long story short he his sisters and his mom were in the car one day with the window down, he stuck his hand out the window and said I caught baby Cadence and I will keep her in my can and she will be safe.. I sometimes wish that I could see what he see's so I could see my sweet baby girl one more time..

I also cant remember if I have mentioned Dixie! She is great! My Dad was so super excited about Cadence arriving he wanted her to come on his seven days off so he could have a whole week with her while he was off of work, so I told him no thats too early she will be come when the time is right! So we bet, if she was born on his seven days off I had to clean my parents house every Wednesday for a year and if Cadence came after his seven days off he had to buy her a mini Donkey! Well what do you know Cadence and mommy won! Cadence was born a day after his days off ended! A week after she was born my Dad found a mini Donkey for sale and we went and bought her! Cadence now has her Donkey and she's cute as ever! I love to see her because I know Cadence would have loved her so much and its like when we got Dixie we got a little piece of my heart filled back in.. And one more thing when we went to pick Dixie up it started to Thunder AGAIN!! So I knew that Cadence was happy! Letting us know once again She is OK!! and She is happy as can be!! <<isn't she just ADORABLE>>

August 18th Cadences funeral

The finally came, like there was no stop between my days it seemed like they were all jumbled into one. I had to wake up and get dressed for my daughters funeral.. Not exactly what I wanted to be doing..

The day before we went to the funeral home just so I could be prepared I guess. I felt like I had to go, I felt like I had to talk to the funeral director myself even though arrangements were already take care of. We got there and I walked into the building and we sat as a family with my in-laws and my parents going over the small details for the funeral. Mr. Terraza showed us the casket that Cadence's great grandfather had chosen for her, and it was beautiful. All I could did was cry when I seen it, just a little bigger then a shoe box and that's where my daughter would be laid to rest in. I wanted to see her once more when I was there but they said no that they were trying to keep her as perfect as they could for the funeral.

So Saturday rolled around and once again I was back at the funeral home trying to be as strong as I could. Trying to look strong, trying to hold it together. I got out of my truck and was surrounded by family and friends. I had no idea that many people had shown up, that had already loved Cadence. Kale and I were let in to be with Cadence for 30 minutes before the services started and I thought that would be enough time. But its never enough time when your only child, your first born, is gone and there wasn't anything I could do to change it.. The building was full of people and Mr. Terraza came in and asked if I was ready to close the casket or if I would like for him to let my friends and family in to see Cadence. And just the day before I didn't want anyone to see her, I didn't want anyone to look at my daughter. But at that moment looking at my daughter and how perfect she was, how beautiful she looked that day I knew I had to let my family and friends see her. They all came in and I didn't lever her side I kept talking to her, just like if she was there listing to me. Kale stood with me right next to Cadence, he was so strong and kept me together. I didnt look at anyone as they came up I just remember them all saying how beautiful she was and how beautiful her dress was. I didn't want to have to look people in the eye and let them see that I failed, until I heard a familiar voice a voice that was always so nice and funny, it was my 6th grade teacher. She just hugged me and I could feel the meaning in that hug. It was a hug that I needed more then I knew it at the time.

The services were lovely and it meant so much to me, Bishop Day did an amazing job. It also nice for Kale and I to have him do them because he married us last year in March.

Before I knew it we were in the limo with Cadence on one seat and Kale and I on the other, I looked at Kale and said I didn't want my first ride in a car with my daughter to be my last. We finally made it our family  cemetery Cadence's grave was blessed, it had been a rainy day, clouds everywhere, and when Bishop Day was blessing her grave it started to thunder. Like Cadence was saying I'm ok Mommy! So, once again friends and family came to hug us and pay respects. I once again didn't want to look at anyone, until Billy came and grabbed my face and told me he loved us and that he would be praying for my family. I felt his words were like a blanket on my heart, like each prayer was healing me slowly but surely..

When the day finally ended and I got home, it rained so hard, and I knew that it was Cadence again telling us she was ok! The day faded away and so did my family they were all gone, everyone was back to their lives while my life was slowly going down the drain.. I didnt want to be alone I wanted Kale with me all the time, and I wanted my parents where I could see them. I just felt like and still do feel like I have to see my family everyday! I have to know they are still here..

August 15th-16th

Labor was actually pretty easy.. I remember shortly after Cadence was born, my mom and mother in law ran over and took a million different pictures.. All I could do was pray, I held on to Kale and kept my eyes closed the entire time and talked to God like he was there in the room with me.. I wanted him to know how I felt, I wanted him to make Cadence cry and turn my bad day into a miracle! But nothing..

They weighed her and took her hand print and foot prints.. They brought her over to me shortly after that.. A part of me was scared to hold her, scared to see what she was going to look like.. I only got a quick look at her before the nurse took her away to give her a bath..

When she returned I just remember asking God why he had to take her so soon?! Why didn't I get to hear her Cry, or have her look into my eyes..I just remember thinking where did I go wrong?! I wanted to hold her and spend as much time with her as I could.. She was absolutely beautiful.. She looked so much like Kale and she had my Dad's perfect tiny little ears..

Kale and I had to make arrangements for a funeral before she was born, and after she was born we had to decided when they would take her.. The nurses told us we could only keep her for 24 hours.. The time was going faster and faster, and before we knew it, it was time for them to take her.. I cant remember lying her on the bed one more time to get a better look at her and see her whole body, thinking that it was amazing I grew her in my tummy, but at the same time I felt like I had failed her, I failed Kale, and the rest of my family.. I wrapped her back up in her pretty soft pink blanket and kissed her and said "Its not good-bye, it's just see you later."

I was released to come home that day, I was so scared I didn't know what I was supposed to do.. I had Cadence's car seat in the back seat with her blankets and her diaper bag in the truck I was supposed to go home in.. I remember that being the longest trip home I had every taken.. The hospital gave me a box to keep Cadence's things in and in the box there was a CD, I put that in and listened to it the entire way home.. I just kept praying, being mad at myself, wishing God would have taken me instead..

We finally made it home, and as hard as it was for me to be there I actually felt a little better, like I had made it that far. I came inside and who was there waiting for us? My dog Daisy all I could do was cry, so many times we would leave and I would tell Daisy "we'll be back in a little while were going to see sister at the doctors office" and I had come home with no new sister for Daisy to meet. She knew something was missing, cause she wasnt the same either. She got up on my lap and just looked at me with sad eyes and she licked my tears as I explained to her what happened. I was talking to Daisy like she was a person like she understood me, was I crazy? I dont think so I think it actually helped me a little more, Daisy knew and I think she really did understand.

Tuesdays Clock was going faster..But I was stuck

The clock was moving so fast.. But time seemed to be standing steal.. I wanted my parents there so badly.. I  just wanted them to get there as fast as they could so that they could fix every thing.. My great grandma was the first one to arrive and I just melted when I seen her.. I didn't want anyone to see me, I didn't want anyone to know what was going on.. She just held me and said it would all be OK..

My parents finally arrived and I just asked cried when I seen my Mom.. I remember thinking that I didn't want to see my dad, because I didn't want to let him down.. I didn't want to see him sad, or too see him cry.. When my Dad did finally come in I just wanted to go back to being 6 years old again, so he could hold me and make my tears go away..

I kept telling everyone that I wanted to go back to yesterday when my world was complete, when I still had a bouncing silly little girl in my tummy.. The next hours Kale and I had to make arrangements that no parent should have to do.. We had to make arrangements for the funeral home to take our sleeping daughter.. I had to decide where she went, and when she went..

My nurse Annette had to leave her shift was ending, I just wanted to keep her there with me the entire time.. She calmed me down, and she was just so helpful.. Another amazing woman then entered my life, her name was Stephanie.. She was so sweet.. She had to per-pair us for after Cadence was born, she went through everything that would be done and she told us a little about what she would look like after she was born.. She said that Cadence would probably have little sores on her body because her skin was so delicate, and her lips would be pink, and she would only have color for a little while then she would lose her color and turn more purple.. I was terrified and all I could do was cry.. My doctor was wonderful and said I could have an epidural as soon as possible so I got that right away, and as soon as that was set they induced me.. All night things changed, my mother in law and my mom didn't leave our sides at all that night.. I was given something to help me sleep a little before delivery..

The hours flew by and Annette came back, and by that time it was time to push.. Delivering Cadence was harder on my body because she wasn't in there to helping me push her out.. How could she when she was already gone.. I only pushed for a about 30 minutes and before I knew it Cadence was out.. As soon as she was out I just grabbed Kale and I just started to pray.. I didn't plan on doing that but that was the only thing I could do to keep myself under control.. I prayed out loud, I wanted to make sure the Lord heard me.. They took Cadence and treated her like nothing was different at all, they wrapped her up and then I got to hold her.. Then they took her and gave her a bath, got her dressed in her adorable outfit and put her head band that matched her outfit on her.. There she was beautiful as can be, with a head full of brown curly hair, a button nose, and perfect in every way.. She was 5lbs. 10 ounces, and 19 inches long.. Her feet were so big!! and her legs went on for miles..

I couldn't keep her long I could just have her for a few hours.. I just wanted to run out of there and take her home.. I didn't want anyone taking her anywhere, but I had no choice.. I remember telling Kale I had to see her feet.. I had to know what they looked like.. She had my toes, and my hands.. but everything else was her Daddy.. She has the same little red mark Kale has on his cheek and he had my Dad's tiny ears.. I tired to take everything in and remember everything, but it was so hard because it all seemed like a dream and as the days went on I forgot more and more.. I'm so glad Annette told us to take lots a of pictures, and now I will forever cherish them!

Check back soon, there will be more to come.. May God Bless each and everyone of you

Monday, Tuesday

Monday August 13, 2012;
Had a great day.. Cadence was moving around like crazy.. I woke up and my belly looks silly Cadence was all balled up to one side.. I remember thanking God for her and telling Cadence how much I loved her.. Monday night we went for a short walk, came home and got into bed.. I remember telling Kale she hadn't moved in about an hour or so and just as I finished my sentence she punched me to reassure me that she was just taking a nap! Laying there in bed with my shirt up watching my belly, I told Kale hurry look!! Cadence has the hiccups, and shes wiggling around.. We were laughing because with every hiccup my entire belly would shake.. I told Kale, can you believe that she could be here any day now at anytime?! He just smiled and said I know babe.. I told him that Cadence would lay between us and and keep us awake all night.. I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was look at her face and watch her sleep, she was already my world and I didn't want to miss anything..

Tuesday August 14, 2012;
Woke up with a pit in my stomach.. I had a bad feeling, and Cadence wasn't bouncing around like usual.. I mentioned it to Kale and he said well she's tired too babe, you have to let her sleep.. He said just have some breakfast and wait a while and then see.. Shortly after that he left to work.. I sat on the couch watching TV with Daisy and a couple hours went by with nothing . I ate some sweet stuff even drank a soda.. Still nothin.. I thought well she loves a nice shower so I tried that.. I remember standing in the shower holding my stomach praying.. "Lord please make Cadence move, Lord please let her kick me so I know she's ok, she's really worrying me.. Lord she has to be OK she has to be..." Shortly after my parents called and I told them what was going on and they came over.. My dad was telling me everything would ok that everything was fine and not to worry.. In the mean time I had called Kale and told him he needed to come home and we needed to go to the hospital.. Not the call I wanted to make saying "come home something is wrong," instead of "KALE IT'S TIME COME HOME HURRY!!! SHE'S ON HER WAY." Trying to calm down I did my hair, and put some make-up on.. My mom was in the bathroom with me while I sat there just staring at the mirror because I knew something was wrong.. My mom grabbed my stomach and prayed and just talked to Cadence.. I just bawled... Kale came home, I called my Doctor, and he said just go straight to L&D and he would check everything out and probably just induce me that day.. I hurried to the hospital, I ate as much lunch as I could before I got there. My usual nurse Annette was there and she was as sweet as always assuring me everything was OK . She took me back and started the monitor.. When she couldn't find Cadence's heart beat right away I knew.. I knew that was it.. She usually found it right away.. So the nurse left the room to another monitor and still nothing.. She called the Dr. and he rushed over to do an Ultra sound.. He started it, I wouldn't look at anyone but Kale.. All the sudden he stopped and touched my leg and I looked him and with his eyes filled with tears he said, "Cynthia, I'm so sorry but she doesn't have a heart beat, she's gone." Instantly I started to scream.. I scrame at the top of my lungs.. The doctor walked out crying and I had to have my nurse call my parents that was a call I just couldn't make.. I just kept asking Kale why? how come? we were so close.. Kale had to call his parents and my nurse stayed with me.. I kept telling her this couldn't happen, how did this happen, when she was fine, and healthy the day before.. She just kept hugging me telling me how sorry she was..

--Thats all for now.. I'll post again soon! This one was especially hard for me so I have to stop there..
May God Bless all of you!

Thank You!

My blog is kinda all over the place but I'm tryin to get everyone caught up and get the story right from the beginning!! Thank you all so much for reading my blog I had no idea how many people would actually read this and how many people I would help by writing! Keep checkin back I have a lot more to go! 

Scripture of the day...

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Song By Tracy Lawrence, "You find out who your friends Are"

This song has so much more meaning to me now then it ever did before.. This is a good song and like a lot of country songs I can sing right along with it but now it's means more to me then just a catchy tune..

The months that I was pregnant I had so many "FRIENDS" text me asking how I was wanting to know about Cadence.. There were so many questions from "Are you excited?" "Are you Nervous yet?" "Are you showing yet?" I had so many excited friends..

Now Where are those friends when I really need them? Did you guess right, the answer is NO WHERE TO BE FOUND that's where they are.. They were all there before we lost Cadence but now I only have a hand full of friends.. Maybe it's because they are scared to talk to me. Maybe it's because they don't know how to talk to me? All I know is that I have found my true friends, and I wouldn't even consider them friends anymore.. They are more like my family, they have all become my back bone.. Supporting me making sure I don't give up... I wish all my other friends would realize that I could use the same support they gave me before we lost Cadence now...

I am so grateful for Kale is my very best friend, he holds me when I cry and reminds me that we will make it through this, not alone but together with the help of God, and with Cadence watching over us..I have also become closer with my family, I appreciate them a lot more now then before. My mom is my best friend, she is so amazing and I hope one day I can be as good of a mother as she is.. I can say that my Family has taken the role of being not just my family but my FRIENDS, SUPPORTERS, and everything else I need.. And for that I am so grateful.

I would like to Thank each and every one you that has stuck by me and helped me through this.. Kale and I have come a long way.. If you would have asked me two months ago where I wanted to be I would have said "alone in my house, not going anywhere or talking to anyone. thinking about the things I should have done..thinking how come I failed.." I came to a fork in the road where the Devil was on the left side and the Lord was on the right.. The devil's side was dark and cold, where he was waiting for me to fail waiting for me to lose my faith in God and take a hold of me.. Instead I choose to turn right and follow the Lord, and that has gotten me here today.. That is how I am able to write this Blog and tell you about our story.

That's all for now thanks for lettin me ramble for a few minutes..


Would especially like to thank the Water's Family for helping me in more ways then they know! I Love you guys!

Yesterday.. October 15th

October 15th is Pregnancy awareness day.. Most people have no idea about this day.. I sure didn't, no until now anyway..

Things I've learned since the loss of Cadence..

There are 6,000,000 Pregnancies occur annually in the United States every year.. 

America Loses More Babies Annually than 28 other nations.. 

1 in 4 pregnancies Lose their Child

4,058,000 Live Births

1,995,840 Pregnancy Losses 

26,000 Still Births

600,000 Miscarriages

64,000 Ectopic Pregnancies

50% of the time there is no explanation.. 

I had no idea that things like this happen everyday.. I had no idea that there is someone out there in the world that loses their child everyday, every minute.. This never hit home until it happened to me..

I was talking to my Nana a while back when we visited her in CO. and I got to spend some time alone with her.. And let me tell you what she is one strong amazing person.. She always knew exactly what to say and the perfect time to say it.. She told me something that I will never forget, she said, "We question the Lord when things dont go our way, or when things dont work out as planned. We say why me Lord, why me? But what we forget when good things come our way we dont say "Why Me, Lord." She is so right! We are always looking for someone to blame when things dont go our way, when we dont get what we want, or when loved ones are called back home.. But we forget to thank the Lord for what he has blessed us with..

I can't look at my situation as something bad.. I feel like that is almost unfair to Cadence if I think that way.. I was blessed with the best 9 months of my life, and all Cadence knew was Love and Happiness.. The Lords plan for us is greater than the plan we have for ourselves.. And for what ever he has planned for Kale and me must be something great and until then I will just have to remind myself and keep my faith..

Welp thats all for now.. Remember to keep your loved ones close to you and be greatful for the time you have with them.. And just Love your little ones.. God Bless you all

This is my favorite Scripture.. I have found so much comfort by this!
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Was it Mothers intuition?

What was the feeling that I felt? How come I could never see us bringing my Princess home? Was there something wrong with me? That's a question I would ask Kale almost daily.. I felt like I was a bad mother for thinking that way.. He would always try to cheer me up and say I know everything is going to be ok and you are great Mommy, and all mothers worry so its ok to be worried..

I had a really hard time buying things for Cadence, I never wanted to look at baby stuff. I didn't want to talk about anything.. My baby shower was super hard for me, I was thrilled that everyone was there with us and happy to see all of our family and friends there that already loved Cadence but it was so hard for me to be happy.. Needless to say I put on a huge smile and I just kept telling myself everything was ok..

I never could really picture us bringing Cadence home, I have no idea why.. I love her so much but yet this bad feeling of not having her forever was always there bothering me..

I always did what my doctor told me too. I did everything right, I stopped drinking caffeine, I took daily prenatal and my baby aspirin.. I even my OB if it was safe to get my nails done and my hair colored.. I was so mad because I know so many people that have done numerous things while pregnant that could hurt their baby and do you think it bothered them? Nope, sure didn't and it probably still doesn't bother them.. I mean I want to slap every woman I see smoking while pregnant, or drinking because they "didn't know." There are so many people out there that have no idea what heart break others go through while pregnant. All I can ask is please do some research and understand pregnancy before thinking its easy..

I remember after I miscarried someone told me "Maybe you or Kale have something wrong with you and that's what happened" this was the most hurtful thing someone could have told me.. Instead of supporting me and trying to encourage me that is what I got..

Well thats all for now and REMEMBER OCTOBER 15TH is pregnancy awareness day!!
God bless you all... Thank you for reading

August 13th

August 13th.. Well That days was pretty good actually.. We had our regular NST (non stress test) scheduled for that afternoon.. We went in and I had a different nurse that day, I had seen her before but she was never my nurse..

We had a conversation while we were there, about how great of an OB I have. She asked how we found that I had MTHFR and I told her it was after a miscarriage. I told her that my doctor didn't hesitate to run all the tests he could.. He was down to business.. She responded by saying "Yes, he is a great doctor.. And in cases when there is a miscarriage or still birth he does everything and all the tests he can do to get an answer." Well little did we know that this conversation would relate to us..

Cadence's heart rate and activity looked amazing so she call my OB and let him know and he said ya let her go on home.. He had the nurse tell me if I felt like I was having contraction just to go back in and he would induce labor. Although a little disappointed that we were going to have her that day we went home and off we went with her bouncing around, and smiles on our faces..

That night we went to my parents house and my mom and I went from a 10 minute walk. I told her that the last couple months I just a feeling.. A feeling that made worried, I even remember printing out this prayer that said something like "Lord please help me surrender all my fears and anxiety to you, and help calm my heart."

This feeling was something that lingered around me, I would just cry and cry.. Even after every successful OB appointment I still felt like something was going to happen..

The months flew by

The months are flying by and each appointment is better then the next. I love my OB's staff they are great always there to answer all my questions.. I couldn't wait to start showing I was actually very excited to start showing... I had bad morning sickness until exactly 16 weeks I would throw up all day long, but it was my constant reminder that the baby was doing great and was growin like a wild flower...A few weeks before we knew what we were having would nick named the baby SHIM meaning boy or girl, because I never wanted to refer to my baby as an "it."

At 20 weeks it was confirmed that we were havin a GIRL! Oh man was I excited I was expecting the doctor to say your having a boy, so when he said a girl I was a little surprised! My dad was too cute he was hoping for a Boy but he came around to a girl and he was super excited, he would talk about the things he would teach her and say "Ya when she comes over to Gran-Dan's house Im gonna teach her to be lazy and tell you in a minute Mom, just like you used to say to me and your mom."

At 25 weeks we tried to go camping but I started having contractions, I ended up in the L&D. I called my OB back at home and he said just go in have everything check and then let me know.. Well everything was fine, I was just a little dehydrated and change in elevation can actually make you go into labor..Who knew? So we ended up coming back home, better safe then sorry.. A few days later I was hospitalized after my growth scan with the U/S tech. My amniotic fluid was a little low and my little princess wouldn't show her all the movements they needed to see..

I was there over night to be watched and make sure she was doing alright, I started having small contraction while I was there. So they gave me shots to stop the contraction, I had a blood thinner shot so my blood didn't clot while I was laying in bed, and I had a shot for the babies lungs just in case they needed to do an emergency c-section, if she still wasn't moving.. Well by the next morning after breakfast my OB came in again and did another U/S and she was bouncing around like crazy! He laughed and said well she is pretty cute.. After this I was hospitalized every other week because of the same things.

 The nurses became more like family then nurses.. I had a favorite nurse she was there almost every time I went in so we got to know each other well.. Her name is Annette, she actually knew some of my husbands family and come to find out I knew her husband from a previous job I had. She is just a doll, always had a smile on her face, never seemed to be bothered by all my questions. After the second time I was hospitalized I told my mom, you know I hope Annette is there when I deliver Cadence, she is the best nurse!

It was Official we were pregnant

I made a Doctor app for after the new year and on January 16, 2012 we heard what was the best sound in the world a strong beautiful heartbeat. I looked over at Kale and he had a smile form ear to ear. I was so excited, that was Our best day ever. We got out of there and called our parents and shared our great news with our parents. 

At 12 weeks we sent out announcement cards to the family to tell them we were pregnant! The boots announcement said Will be ridding into town August 30th, 2012. The ASU one said, "Little Sun Devin Coming Soon" The cards were a big hit everyone loved them! Everyone was so excited! 

First.. Lots of info, TMI

Well lets talk a little about before Cadence.

In 2010 I miscarried, this was a few months before our wedding.. At first I was like no this isn't supposed to happen this way Im getting married in 9 months not supposed to have a baby.. But then the more  I thought about it I thought wait a second I would much rather have a baby then a wedding.. I mean I could skip the idea I had about a big wedding and just to a small simple wedding, and have an adorable baby in few months.. So the next days after that I was getting more excited about the baby then anything and I told my family what was going on and surprisingly they weren't mad they were excited about a new Baby! Well that Monday I had made a dr app. to have everything looked at and figured out. At that time I would have been about 12 weeks. Well I had no clue what I was in for I had no idea what to expect, because I thought that I was pregnant and that was that.

I wasnt in there long, and the my dr. at the time said welp no heart beat.. And I just looked at him, like what do you mean? He said well you are going to have a miscarriage, and I was shocked I had no idea what that was or what was going to happen. The doctor said you should be about 12 weeks and the fetus stopped growing around 6 weeks. He said well you can do it natural or we can schedule you for surgery and do a D&C. I just decided to let nature take its course and do what I had to. Within three days I had fully miscarried, and found myself in the ER I started to hemorrhage. Scared and no knowing what to do, the doctor there told me that they would call my current OB and have him come in. Well he set everything up for me to have a blood transfusion because I had lost so much blood. Thank goodness I didnt have to have one after all. But the next days were terrible, all I did was cry I remember waking up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. Kale would do everything he could do but my anxiety was too much. As the weeks went on things got better and the pain wasn't as bad anymore.

I had blood taken and sent out to figure out what happened. Came back that I have a blood disorder called  “Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase" or MTHFR. Having MTHFR means that when I get pregnant my blood clots and cuts off blood to the baby. Doctor said simple fix and it could be prevented by a low dose baby aspirin. So now I take baby aspirin once daily no bad just like taking vitamins. 

In December 2011 I was still taking the baby aspirin daily and wouldn't you know I was pregnant. I didn't anyone yet but I knew on Christmas day. Well a couple weeks later I told my parents and Kale's parents....

The reason I decided to Blog

I decided to start a blog after I reading a blog myself it is called 2jsandababy.blogspot.com. They have a heart wrenching story. The strength I seen in her and her husband was amazing, they are two very strong people and that is a blog I continue to check in on.

I also wanted to share my story with other families that can relate with me and Kale. I have been asked so many questions by people and I don't know if I am ready to talk about it with everyone face to face yet. I'm hoping by starting this blog I will get stronger and it will help me cope with things better.

The Main Reason for starting the blog is so people know what we are going through..
On August 15, 2012 my Daughter Cadence Ellen Dalton was born sleeping.

I will post more on my next blog.. Thanks for reading

Intro

Guess I should start with a little info and what made me decide to start a blog.

My name is Cynthia Dalton, I am 20 years old, and I've been married almost 2 years now. My husband and I have always known each other since we were little. We have a very long story behind us, so I'll cut it short or I'll be here for days lol. My used to baby sit Kale and my Dad used to go hunting with Kale's dad. Growing up I always liked Kale, by the time I was 12 I told my mom that one day I was going to marry Kale  and what do you know 7 years later we were married! We got married March 26, 2011 on a perfect sunny day, that was the happiest day of my life. I was soon to be Mrs. Kale Dalton and we would together forever, I was too excited to cry all I could do was smile.

I always knew that I would want to start a family right away, being a Mommy is the only "Job" I have ever want. Kale and I would talk about how many kids we want and what we would name them and who they would be like. We found out that starting a family isn't as easy as it seemed to be...

I will talk about more on my next one :) I don't want to drag my blogs out too long but there is so much to tell! Hope you can follow me and Our story.